


Avert Thine Eyes

by postapocalyptic_cryptic



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Date Night Goes Wrong, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I found this in my drafts, POV Sasha James, Panic Attacks, Pre-Canon, Season/Series 01, Tim Stoker Has Issues and Did Long Before The Institute, Tim Stoker Needs a Hug, Trauma, catch my foreshadowing to win my everlasting love and affection, i would die for these two, its all up to you it just has to be real sasha, or - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postapocalyptic_cryptic/pseuds/postapocalyptic_cryptic
Summary: Sometimes, all Sasha can do is remind Tim that this will end, that he's lived this far and he will continue to live tomorrow. In the meantime, she holds him.
Relationships: Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Avert Thine Eyes

Tim is breaking. Sasha knows this, just as surely as she knows that Tim will find a way to put himself together tonight and be ready to face tomorrow morning. The world will keep spinning, and Tim will keep living, because this is how people are. One mask breaks, and another rises up to take its place. Rebirth. Growth. 

Right now, though, that doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help Tim breathe any easier to know that he will be okay tomorrow. It doesn’t stop the tears flowing down his face, and it doesn’t stop the cracks in her heart that form listening to him cry. He’s in pain, and so she’s in pain, because there is a part of Sasha James that is entirely Tim Stoker, and there is a part of Tim Stoker that is entirely Sasha James. That is a truth, and the fact that people are just endless masks are a truth, and those things can both exist at once, just like how Tim’s world can end today and go on tomorrow. The world is made of multiples, and that’s okay. 

She pulls Tim tighter against her, putting her hand on the back of his head and running her fingers through his hair. She leans forward until her forehead meets the top of his head and his face is pressed into her chest and murmurs nonsense into his hair, rubbing his back and trying to get him to breathe. He holds his breath sometimes, when he’s like this. She knows that he’s trying to stop the hyperventilation, but the not breathing is just as bad. It’s control, though, and if there’s one thing Tim Stoker likes, it’s control. 

They’re on the floor of his bathroom, which is where she found him when she let herself in for date night. She’s sitting up against the tub and he’s in her lap, long legs sticking off to one side and arms around her shoulders. 

“Hey, Tim. Tim. Breathe with me, okay, sweetheart?” She continues smoothing her hand across his back in long strokes as she talks, trying to get his attention through his gasping breaths and frantic mumbling. He’s gone, not with her in any sense of the word right now, but she can get him back. She always gets him back.

She taps the back of his head gently and he looks up at her with red, exhausted eyes. He looks wrecked, pupils blown wide and tear tracks soaking his cheeks. “Sash, Sash, I can’t- can’t-”

“Shh, shh, shh, I know. I know, honey. Breathe with me, or at least try, alright?” He nods miserably. “Good. Great. In two three four, hold two three four, out two three four. In two three four, hold two three four, out two three four.” She keeps counting and breathing until she feels Tim start to follow her. Finally, little by little, his breathing gets deeper and the tears dry up. He sighs into her shoulder and melts a little bit, some of the tension easing out of him. Now they’re just Tim and Sasha, sitting on a bathroom floor. Nothing to see here. The world can look away for a moment. 

**Author's Note:**

> Me??? Coming back to the TMA fandom after six months??? Also I'm re-listening from the start and I'm just now finishing s2. I stopped listening five episodes into s5, so no spoilers lmao.
> 
> Also expect more TMA content, but there will be no Martin, JonMartin or otherwise. 
> 
> hit me up down below or @postapocalyptic-cryptic-fic on Tumblr


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